Category Archives: The Ruminations

“Schools in crisis as graduates turn their backs on teaching” Guardian 26 Dec 2015

“It is SOOOOO annoying to have to read yet another article linking teacher recruitment and/or retention to teacher pay. This is simply NOT the issue!!!!!! It’s parents’ complaining, hours spent on data analysis, the serious lack of life/work balance, and pressure to get every child “above average” – despite this being statistically impossible, this is the main focus in education – from parents as much as the government. Employers all want their skill-set ‘taught’ by schools – so the curriculum is paradoxically both so broad (nearly every subject has to be offered) and yet so narrow (only English and Maths really count) – I assume because their own training budgets have been squeezed – it’s just impossible to satisfy anyone, never mind everyone.

And parents seem to have practically abandoned input – from teaching infants colours and nursery rhymes to older children about their immediate heritage (no-one knows who Churchill is any more).

Children themselves do not ‘know’ any less than when I started teaching 30 years ago, but they ‘know’ a lot about ‘stuff’ which doesn’t support an archaic curriculum still aiming to churn out factory fodder with a decent percentage of admin staff thrown in for good measure. (State schools are not expected to produce ‘the elite’ – Eaton still does that.)

Frankly, British education needs a major shake-up to bring our kids into the 21st century – starting with educating parents what they need to do/know, the curriculum and the exam system as well as school leadership training. Articles and media focus on teacher pay continues to miss the point – instead of looking at statistics and talking to spokesmen, why not actually visit some schools before your next edition?”

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In response to oldcornishlefty

+ parents and their constant ‘passing the buck’ complaints because it’s easier to blame and complain about teachers than it is to get their kids off social media and do their homework, talk to their kids about their heritage and contemporary issues, teach their infants their colours, a few nursery rhymes/fairy tales. etc. Kids do not know any less than they ever did, they just know different stuff – unfortunately, what they do know is of little use to the archaic curriculum the Tories have imposed.


+ parents and their constant ‘passing the buck’ complaints because it’s easier to blame and complain about teachers than it is to get their kids off social media and do their homework

This is very true. I know several dedicated teachers who are giving their all for young pupils, but are up against this kind of thing. It’s funny – restricting TV and computer use is commonplace, particularly among middle-class parents, in North America. Here it seems to be regarded as fascist! No government advice that I know has ever included this to parents. I can’t imagine why so many people have children just to fob them off most of the time with electronic gizmos.


A Right Royal Rant from 2 years ago!

The Guardian published a very ‘sensible’ article about preparing for the new school year: I wasn’t in the mood for it at the time – classic response from a fellow Guardian reader !

Totally patronising, ill-informed article !

Whilst I may kid myself that I can imagine the stress of a brain surgeon or the pressure of stock broker, when it comes down to it, what do teachers actually do that is so stressful?

Let’s be honest: I drift into school at 1/4 to 9 five days a week for 39 weeks – talk to some kids for a few hours, fill in a couple of forms, do a bit of writing on the board, do a bit more reading and then dart out of the place just after 1/2 3, when most people are still on their afternoon tea break. After tea I do a bit more reading, ticking as I go and – crawl into bed totally exhausted.

Teaching is a bit like football – anyone who has ‘watched enough games’ and of course, read enough back pages can do a better job than Jose Mourinho – and everyone knows what teachers are doing wrong, why kids aren’t learning and hate school.

Of course, teaching may be so stressful because in order to do my ‘talking’ to kids I need to have a degree in my subject and to maintain that level of knowledge regardless of the amount of new material constantly available. I also need to have to stay up-to-date with the latest teaching methods to squeeze every last mark out of every last child, and despite the population not getting any more intelligent, produce better and better exam results every year. I have to absorb a range of details about every child – I teach up to 150 different ones a day in my high school – I have pages and pages of rules and regulations to bear in mind before a single sentence comes out of my mouth – language awareness, school and government policies, as well as dividing my attention between 28 pre-adults who really really would rather be somewhere else. I have to keep them physically safe, emotionally secure and educationally motivated. I must not be political or evangelical – but I must be politically aware and correct, and imbue the Catholic ethos of my school – without disparaging or undermining any other religious beliefs of a single pre-adult in my care.

In order to continue my bit of reading/ticking at home I need to take in and assess each pre-adult’s performance, correct their errors (without proof-reading for them) and despite the number of hours spent on lectures, activities, discussions etc in class, now find two sentences which will finally force that penny down, so that the pre-adult learner will finally ‘get it’ and improve their next piece of work – which must be written by the way – despite most other real-life performances being assessed by ‘doing’ (think marital arts belts, sports trials, performance auditions, etc). I do all this with the memory of reams of level descriptors and their numerical demarkers at the back of my numbed brain.

I haven’t even mentioned dealing with parents – who whilst generally giving in to their child’s every whim to keep them quiet (See – Christmas now begins in the middle of November) and who has failed to entertain them for the summer six-weeks, who deals with most confrontations by shouting/grounding/slapping/threats of pocket money withdrawal etc etc – (see tantrums in super-markets) now expect me to be Mother Theresa, the entire Disney Channel and Socrates rolled into one – despite having 30 of them with the only serious sanction is some form of raised eyebrow – parents don’t ‘do’ teaching raising their voices to their loved ones anymore.

SO excuse me if I rant off the day before my GCSE results – with Sainsbury’s Back to School adverts stuffed into my eye balls, Mrs Psychologist – if it were as simple as you make out vodka shares would drop like the second Depression.

It’s time to resurrect the blog!

SO I intended to do a year in the life of ‘You Couldn’t Make it Up’ – a bit of a teacher-blog thing but chickened out in the end as I needed the job for a few more years. That gig has finally finished and I still can’t ‘reveal’ as libel laws are pretty complicated, not the least about the onus of proof – when ‘you couldn’t make it up’, even the truth is hard to prove !

As I no longer have a Sixth Form to vent my opinions on, this is as good a place as any have a good rant and reflect on anything else!

The Guardian: Young People Living in ‘suspended adulthood’ – to full article.

Extract/intro: “Despair, worries about the future and financial pressures are taking a toll on millions of young Britons, according to a poll which found young women in particular were suffering.

Low pay and lack of work in today’s Britain are resulting in “suspended adulthood”, with many living or moving back in with their parents and putting off having children, according to the poll of thousands of 18 to 30-year-olds.

Large numbers describe themselves as worn down (42%), lacking self-confidence (47%) and feeling worried about the future (51%).”

And thus is my son ! Although not quite as depressed or in despair as described above. But living at home and determined not to sell out to his PGCE ! And so I commented:

This is the generation that suffered the Blair ‘education, education, education’ – the classes of ‘born 1992 – 94 (now 22/3 – 25 yrs) were the guinea pigs for the END of the first generation SATs and the ‘original’ GCSE coursework syllabi – which had been working really well and which saw results climbing year on year – because teachers were getting better at delivering them NOT because standards were falling.
This is the generation Blair wanted 25% of to go to university and then did what no Tory govt. had had the audacity to do and charge for higher education.
They are the generation told not to bother to learn their tables or spelling rules because IT would do all that for them. They were taught to research and think for themselves and then had to undertake the new exams which tested mainly memory.
They have been treated shamefully: in debt up to their eyeballs from degrees no-one wants or needs – everyone thought they were going to be graphic designers or tour managers! Largely because that’s what they were told the country needed!
Blair and his gang should be tried for the biggest con trick ever.
And it was largely the 1960s baby boomers who fell for it and encouraged our kids to fall for all the flannel: WE bought our kids the computers and put them in their bedrooms – WE boasted about A/A* GCSEs full of literacy errors! WE kept them indoors because the media, headed and led by others of our generation, made the whole country believe it wasn’t safe to climb trees or run in the park any more because of the new “job’s worth” health and safety climate/there’s a kidnapper around every corner mentality.
But wait and see what the next generation turn out to be like!! I’ve just left teaching not in a small part because the latest syllabi/curriculum is the biggest joke yet. Can’t wait to see what people make of the current cohort of 16 yrs – 18 yrs old in 10 years time.

Got 6 LIKES ! (Not a bad haul on a mid-week article !) and a couple of responses included:


Thank you for your clear and concise perspective. That sums it up nicely!

Yes, Blair and Clegg have effectively derailed an entire generation and riots look likely having just watched the Charlotte riots video on the Gruan today. The mood is changing and young people are beginning to be indigent to the plots of politicians and crooked bankers.

I think the tories thought that they could somehow control this momentum generation by saddling them with debt and then monitoring them via their phones. I think they will rue the day that they thought that putting financial handcuffs on the youth would restrict the ability to take to the streets.



Best thing I’ve read all day, very well said.


How deluded is Mr Gove ?

The problem with me is that I’m too subjective and get ‘all emotional’ about things which immediately, it seems to me, are wrong. So when I hear or read snippets about Mr Gove and his reforms, I instinctively ‘know’ he is wrong – about everything. But I have been fairly dismissive of all the Gove reforms in England because I teach in Wales and we have a hugely different agenda, so hugely different that we are almost as different to England as the Scottish curriculum and examination system is to the misnomered ‘England and Wales’ one.

This week’s NUT conference and Twitter links to Guardian articles have however, finally led me  to investigate what all the fuss over the border is actually about. And personally I find it hilarious.

Teaching, like medicine and policing, is a very closed shop: it is full of attitudes and practices which are based on pragmatism best kept well away from the public. Teaching has a public face which has to be maintained at all costs: pupils come first, everyone is equally valued, teachers slave for long hours after school EVERY night and this one is the cracker: government initiatives force teachers and schools into massive upheavals that will have a serious and real affect on lessons. Of course, this facade has to be maintained. But facade it is.

The NUT would have the public believe that the changes being proposed by Mr Gove will actually make some kind of difference to the average – and good – teacher’s methods and approaches. What the public must never know is what ever changes the government thinks it may be bringing about, the only real difference they will possibly make will be to the language and, God forbid, possibly the layout of schemes of work and lessons plans – neither of which bear the slightest resemblance to what goes on in the classroom anyway.

The government is seriously deluded if it thinks its changing of ‘the curriculum’, the syllabi recycling which takes place every few years or even the lecturers in teacher training establishments have the slightest influence on what goes on in the classrooms of Britain.

There is only one influence on what and how the curriculum is taught in Britain and that is the experienced teacher, usually the Head of Department, who issues forth on the only thing that matters to any young teacher fresh from a four year course on the ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ of education – and that is how to survive an hour with 30 hormonally rampant teenagers whose only real interests in life are a) being fancied by another equally hormonally rampant teenager, b) being accepted by the bitches in Set 3 (otherwise known as their peers),  and c) who is going to win ‘the league’ this year,  whilst at the same time delivering a sufficient number of exam passes  to keep their Head of Department from having a mental breakdown each September before, during or after the exam results meeting with The Head.

Mr Gove is right. History teaching in this country has now over-taken maths as probably the most poorly taught subject on the curriculum. (And kids do not know how to use commas. You’ve probably spotted a few places where my own sentences would have benefitted from a few strategically placed little mini-slashes.) Discovering my own daughter did not know who Winston Churchill was, I must admit,  a bit of a shock – not the least because she has a GCSE Grade C in History.

On reflection of course, why should she? The syllabus she studied included the history of medicine, the American West and the local castle built by Edward II. Before that, in the lower school, she will have had a series of single lessons on various aspects of the Victorians, the Romans and the Normans (– notice we are still not admitting that this actually means Italians and French! God forbid we were invaded by a bunch of opera-loving facists and snail-eating fashion designers. No, the Romans and Normans were eventually overcome and are now obsolete with no further modern relevance or living descendants.).

So, how or why have I managed to assimilate so much historical ‘knowledge’ despite only studying History at O level myself? The only topics I remember revising for my O level was the Agricultural Revolution – and some inane stuff entitled ‘Welsh History’ which only succeeded in teaching us that, in fact, according to the English Secretary of State who sanctioned that particular little section of the syllabus that particular year, Wales, does not actually have much of a history of its own.

The answer is: my parents, television and most importantly literature.

I learned about Winston Churchill and World War II because my parents and grandparents were still living it. My father was a war-baby and was brought up on what is now called recycling – they called it ‘Make Do and Mend’. It meant nothing was to be discarded, everything had multiple uses and Hitler was only going to be defeated by every newspaper, tin can and bit of metal being used and reused time and time again. They were taught that the war was being fought because Hitler wanted to take over the world – there was no element of  disgust at the persecution of the Jews because the mass extermination of them was largely only discovered when the Allies stumbled across Auschwitz and the other concentration camps at the end of the war – the persecution of Catholics, gypsies, blacks and the disabled was equally not a driving concern behind  the resistance to the Nazis. Which of course was why, within a decade the great British public was so easily able to dish out their own brand of racial hatred and suspicion towards the West Indians lured to Britain to man our buses and clean our hospitals in the 1950s. It is also why to this day my father has difficulty binning anything made of aluminium and why ‘broken’ doesn’t mean ‘useless’ it means ‘find a different use for it’ – and why he still refers to people from other cultures with a language which dehumanises them.

My father missed going to Korea because he had the flu and had ten days of ‘leave’ due to him. He used them to go home to recuperate and missed the posting. Consequently,  I know very little about the Korean war except what I learned from ‘Mash’, a sitcom starring Alan Alder set in an army medical unit. I do know about Vietnam though. It was on the BBC news daily when I was a small child. One day I noticed that it had been ages since there had been any stories about it and thought nothing more about it until I was much older and realised it must have ended. The next time the Vietnam war entered my consciousness was when I went to see a film called ‘Rambo’ in 1982. It was still some time before I made the connection to all those news stories I had walked in to in our kitchen throughout most of my primary school years.

And this leads me to the second source of my awareness of the past: film and television. My generation was hugely influenced and informed by dramas and films set in the past: ‘Roots’ practically wiped out racism for a whole generation, ‘Upstairs, Downstairs’ bred a hatred of class distinction and the weekly western reinforced what was later to be exposed as the fallacy of the American Dream. As a child, Wyatt Earp and Jesse James were as real to me as Robin Hood and the daleks. And like the films set in India and Africa such as  ‘Zulu’, the western presented the white Europeans as the civilising force which took democracy and the railroad to savage barbarians in the nether regions of a hitherto dark, ‘uninhabited’ (by white Europeans) and mysterious continent just waiting and begging to be colonised by some European adventurer or entrepreneur.

The 60s and 70s were also littered with films set in World War II: two people in particular were responsible for the Allies victory and they were both called John – no not Winston or Montgomery – John: as in John Wayne and John Mills. These two guys were everywhere – flying planes, captaining ships and leading infantry attacks on Germans all over the world. There was also a really important person who lost his legs, a chap called Douglas Bader who apparently fell in love with a waitress who admired his determination to take her to the pictures and another bloke who was responsible for some bouncing bombs blowing up some dams.

So when I was thrown into pre-1914 literature at university it was all rather a shock to discover that things which had happened in the past had actually influenced who we were today. In deed, it soon been apparent that things called social reformers had influenced the ending of slavery and not as I had previously assumed, that the government had one day decided to simply pass a law because the prime minister wanted it that way. I also discovered that writers and artists as well as politicians and kings and queens had had a hand in historical changes which had taken place and had helped bring about shifts in attitudes and thus the laws of the land. I discovered the reason we had so many Latin roots in the English language had something to do with the Anglo-Saxon language absorbing words from people who had actually lived and governed Britain for four hundred years – yes, four hundred years – not a ‘term’ as I had been led to believe from studying them for 12 weeks in Year 8 at school. And there was more – Wales apparently really did have its own history before the Industrial Revolution, before hundreds of thousands of English men and women had swarmed into the South Wales valleys and the mining areas of North Wales, bringing with them little in the way of any significant cultural influence but their usual resistance to learning the indigenous language – thus explaining the ease with which your average Welsh person communicates with people from the West Indies and South Africa alike.

It is entirely through literature that I have learned anything really: the hypocrisy of the Catholic church and its influence through Chaucer; the social unrest at varying times, including apparently a civil war in Britain and of course the injustices of empirical ambition through Swift, Dickens and Yeats. And it was Wilfred Owen who taught me the reality of World War I: the conditions, the horrors and waste of human life which the history books dispense with so glibly with a few, and often poorly placed, adjectives whilst swiftly moving on to names and dates and conferences commentators at various times have deemed important.

When I look at the compulsory curriculum I wonder at its failures! PE does little but put children off most of the activities: children really inspired to pursue sports and athletics do so at after school clubs. Geography reduces our beautiful planet to contour lines and statistics; with cheap international travel, kids learn more from a fortnight on the Costa Nota Lotta (usually in term time).  Don’t even get me started on the teaching of art or music ! And my respect for science diminishes year on year. Are we really that better off after hundreds of years of it? Beyond destroying our planet, what exactly has it accomplished? And by discovering how the universe works – and even how it began –  we can … well, what ?… change anything that really matters? We will be able to cure all diseases so that one day a generation can finally live forever … bringing about what … the lack of necessity for anyone else to ever be born? Are we to believe that science will one day invent the ultimate fuel …to drive computers that will one day do everything for us … so that we will be able to do what – be entertained by computer generated literature, film and art ? Or maybe science will one day be able to eradicate suffering … in all its guises – physical pain, mental illness? What about the psychological and emotional pain of bereavement, romantic heartache and even that inconsolable, pit of emptiness you feel when your youngest child finally leaves home ?

For me there are only a small handful of subjects which are vital to the real enhancement of the human condition – literature, music, art and history. Learning who we are and being able to take part in and respond to the things which make life worthwhile is far more important than the average rainfall in Sweden or how many x’s y is worth.  Science, maths and all the rest could cheerfully be left to the options stage in secondary school in my opinion. Mr Gove is right. Being able to use punctuation effectively is vital to written communication. And a grasp of the lives and contributions of key players in our history is equally vital for us to comprehend why we should be welcoming the Polish and the Bulgarians alike into our country, why we already have so many immigrants from areas of the globe the Victorians colonised and why racial hatred leads to nothing but violence and war.

But teachers are not paid to do any of this. They are paid to get children through exams. They are paid to churn out economic commodities who with a little bit of luck may pick up a book or go to an art exhibition on their day off once in a while. And that is why it is not government initiatives or syllabus changes that will influence what or how a teacher delivers in a classroom.  What will influence them is what the Head of Department tells them works. What kids need to write in an hour and a half in the gym on a sunny afternoon in June. And this will not change from one year to the next. To get a C at English literature students will still need to know that Curley’s wife does not have a personal name to suggest she is just another of his possessions, that Wilfred Owen uses alliteration to imitate the sound and rhythm of bullets being fired and that Lady Macbeth – despite being viewed as weaker both physically and intellectually than her husband – is to blame for him killing Duncan.

How the syllabus is worded, the terms used in the scheme of work to convey this – VAK, AfL, brain gym, mindmaps – are all irrelevant. At the end of the day, the bottom line is, the English literature teacher will read these texts in class and tell her pupils what they need to write about them to get the ticks they need to pass. And the history teachers will continue to devise lists, acronyms and mnemonics to help her students remember the five key causes of World War I – because there never has been – and more importantly, probably never will be – any marks allocated for students to demonstrate empathy with the men who could distinguish between Shell and BP petrol cans used to carry drinking water in the trenches.

The Secret Teacher

Teenagers’ Ignorance

Using Mr Men to Teach History

Why feminism matters and Christianity gets my vote for ‘Best Religion’.

The Suffragettes 100 years on. click on link for Guardian article March 2013

Little girls in China having their feet broken when their bones are still soft and malleable. Female circumcision continuing in 28 countries in Africa, parts of the Middle East and even within immigrant communities in Europe, North America and Australasia. Denying girls even basic literacy education. What do these things have in common? Is it religion? Culture or tradition?

In China men like small feet. FGM ensures pre-marital virginity and denying girls education ensures they are obedient wives. The common factor here is not religion, culture or even the women. It is what men want. And particularly what men want in their wives.

This is why women all over the world continue to enforce these tortures – and let us not kid ourselves, denying intelligent, creative and active minds an education is no less a torture than physical violence –  upon their daughters. Despite evidence of the clear health and economic consequences these practices cause and which organisations such as UNICEF regularly lay before the governments and religious leaders of country after country which allows, even encourages, these practices to continue. Because that is what women who are not allowed to provide for themselves have to do: they have to get married.

Yet, despite it now being generally accepted that the only way to tackle global problems is to educate women and to get them working, girls continue to be denied basic primary education and continue to be prepared for marriage and child-bearing alone.

“An extra year of primary school boosts girls’ eventual wages by 10% to 20%. An extra year of secondary school adds 15% to 25%. Girls who stay in school for seven or more years typically marry four years later and have two fewer children than girls who drop out. Fewer dependents per worker allows for greater economic growth. And the World Food Programme has found that when girls and women earn income, they reinvest 90% of it in their families. They buy books, medicine, bed nets. For men, that figure is more like 30% to 40%. “Investment in girls’ education may well be the highest-return investment available in the developing world,” Larry Summers wrote when he was chief economist at the World Bank.” Read more:,9171,2046045,00.html#ixzz2P2KElfY5

There is currently huge debate in ‘Christian’ societies about gay marriage. As a result the validity and values of Christianity itself is being called into question by many non-religious groups and individuals. And this is a shame. Because it is masking the one most important message of a man called Jesus – be he god or otherwise: the equality and value of every individual member of humanity.

Too many people in Christian-based societies forget that their laws and customs have been innately influenced by the teaching – although not always the practices – of this message. When slavery was opposed it was opposed on the basis of all creeds being human, first petitioned against by the Quakers in 1783. When the conditions in prisons were reformed it was instigated by a Christian woman, Elizabeth Fry. And when women were eventually given the vote for the first time it was because the Christian values of those societies eventually prevailed.

Other religions have given us much: Islamic scientists gave us many of the principles our modern learning is based upon, the Chinese have given us some of the greatest inventions from paper to the waterwheel, instrumental in the great Industrial Revolution and the Jewish tradition has given us some of the greatest minds and performers in history. But it was a book about a seemingly insignificant carpenter that has given mankind its most important lesson – love one another. And although many other religions and political systems may claim that in their own way they too advocate and encourage this, it seems to me that only Christianity has produced whole societies which actually legislate for it.

When we are outraged by images and reports of how animals are treated in other countries, we are made all the more aware of how people are also treated in these places: when human life is cheap, when children are enslaved and women are mutilated, stoned to death for adultery or arrested for having lunch in public with a man she is not married to, one can begin to grasp the mentality of people torturing animals to perform for entertainment and skinning dogs alive for the fashion industry.

Christianity is not perfect: it has committed many outrageous and immoral acts of war, torture and prejudice. Some could produce much evidence to show it still does. But women in Christian societies no longer have to put their daughters through physical or emotional torture to prepare them for marriage. Women in Christian societies have access to the same education as men. Women in Christian societies have the vote. Whether they wish to take advantage of this or not is up the them. There are many disadvantaged girls in this country. There is still not the equal pay the 1971 Act promised. But at least it is not legalised sexism. And, most importantly, it is not considered acceptable, let alone necessary.

This was first published on March 29th  2013

So what are parents teaching their children ?

In an attempt to teach the use and effect of poetic devices through the analogy of recipes today, I have to admit I have reached a new all-time high in my despair for parenting skills today.

So, you have some eggs, flour, sugar, fat – either margarine or butter – what are we cooking today? images

Silence. Eventually, one of the brighter girls realises this is not a trick spelling question and ventures, “A cake?” 

Mmmm. Ok. Anything else ? What if we find some milk as well ? 

Another, longer silence. “Pancakes ?” Good. Anything else ?

And so  it went on. OK – so baking isn’t their thing. Let’s try – minced meat, onions, tomatoes [I am drawing sketchy images on the board] may be potatoes or spaghetti, carrots even. 

Nothing. No response. Nope, not happening. Finally, I crack – what about – ah ! an interruption – “a pie” is offered. I am encouraged. And get carried away with references to bolognese, shepherd’s pie, cottage pie – adding chilli powder ( !) chilli … 

What struck me most about this lesson was that once I had imparted the concept of ‘ingredients’ – similes, rhyme, metaphors, violent language – being mixed up and used for different effects in poetry the kids had no problem. It was the cooking thing they couldn’t handle.

And it is sad, I realise, now that I am home and showing my own daughter the best way to slice a rib of lamb chops, that what I – the school – have taught the children, they have learned. They are teachable.


In the wake of the ‘horse meat scandal’ it is sad to realise there is a whole generation out there who can not return to the butcher. Frozen beefburger sales are down 43%, according to the BBC this morning. But even that means there is still a huge percentage of the population continuing to rely on Findus and Tesco to throw together a few handfuls of minced beef and a chopped up onion, roll it up in a ball and flatten it for them, so they can chuck ‘beefburgers’ under the grill for dinner.

And it’s not just food that has changed. Families don’t watch television together, children are not read to and crafts have been consigned to some obscure television channels no-one actually turns on. Teachers are no longer able to use family soap operas or film adaptations of great novels as points of reference in lessons about social problems or relationship issues. 16 year olds do not know who Winston Churchill was and there is no longer either pride or shame for the once glorious Empire that the sun never set on. Sewing and card games metaphors are lost on children today. Supermarkets provide mums with ready-made Hallowe’en costumes and literary allusions to Bible stories, myths and fairy tales not adapted by Disney are completely wasted on teenagers today.

In their parents’ quest to earn enough money to provide ipods and laptops, large televisions and fortnights in Costa Cheaper in School Holidays, what price are not only children paying, but their parents too?

My parents must have passed on only fragments, a fraction of their practical knowledge to me: I can’t make a dress and my pastry is decidedly ropey to say the least. But at least I know that meals are put together from raw ingredients; cotton and wool are woven and Cinderella had a step-mother because her own mother had died – her father’s new wife was there to ‘step’ into her place, not because her own mother had moved out and abandoned her to shack up with a better offer.

The generation of children I am teaching today seems to be losing out on all fronts: their own parents weren’t taught to bake or use up Sunday left-overs; they weren’t taught to make their own clothes or toys and they weren’t taught how to create Hallowe’en outfits out of plastic bin bags and 3 ½ miles of sellotape. But they weren’t taught to use the internet, download from itunes or build a blogging site either. The wealth of basic skills passed on for generations is being lost. But today’s parents were not prepared for the new technology their children are now expected to embrace either.

So we have a generation of kids left entirely to the mercy of the formal education system and after-school games’ clubs. And a generation of parents who have missed out on the best years of their children’s lives.

And just when I was beginning to think I was being a bit harsh, accusing young people and their parents of Heavens knows what I came across this:

Blogging students: ‘We’re so well educated – but we’re useless. Guardian February 2013:

Record numbers of students have entered higher education in the past 10 years, but despite being the most educated generation in history, it seems that we’ve grown increasingly ignorant when it comes to basic life skills.

Looking back on my first couple weeks of living in student halls, I consider myself lucky to still be alive. Unbeknown to freshers, there are many hidden dangers lurking in the dirty corners of student accommodation.

I have survived a couple of serious boiling egg incidents and numerous cases of food-poisoning, probably from filthy kitchen counters. Although some of my clothes have fallen victim to ironing experimentation, I think I have now finally acquired all the domestic skills I missed out on in my modern education… 

A really good way to spend the next ten minutes of your life: watch this –

This entry was first posted on 27 February 2013.


How this year’s Brit Awards made me despair for the future.

The media would have us believe that children are growing up too fast nowadays: fashion is imposing an inappropriate and premature awareness of sexuality on even infants; girls are wearing make-up younger and younger, and technology is giving them access to material their parents did not have access to or understand until they were adults. Whilst all this may be true, there is actually more to growing up than wearing a bra, covering your face with orange cement and being able to find the latest trend on youtube. And my experience as a teacher is that children are actually taking much longer to grow up.

They are tied to their parents’ wireless apron strings via their mobile phones, their parents have access to their most intimate thoughts and relationships with their constant checking and supervising of their social networks and they are dropped off and collected from the school gates within seconds of the school bell – thus ensuring that that final opportunity for discussing, arranging and developing any ‘naughty’ individuality or danger entrenched activity is totally eradicated.

My generation, like the one before and the one immediately after, went to school to leave school. To get a job. To leave home. And to move away from any last shred of parental interference and to embrace the freedom of wall-papering your entire house with posters of Donny Osmond and Metalica, of staying out all night without having to lie and to have sex with anyone you fancied without your parents threatening to make you marry them if you got pregnant (except a Beatle, of course). The generation I teach come to school because their parents have told them to.

And so to the Brits – the showcase for that last bastion of teenage rebellion – the ‘next’ generation’s music… surely parents have not infiltrated here as well …

The fact that I knew nearly every act – and was only appalled at Taylor Swift and One Direction for being pathetically granny-friendly – says it all.

Cowell’s new invention – Overseas Something for One Direction (because sufficient executs clung to some last shred of decency and refused to lose all credibility by giving them something else) really does spell the end of the world for me – where was the Hall of Fame Life Time Achievement 15 minutes at the end ? Gone to avoid some old rocker showing up this generation of lifeless, boring and institutionalised wimps?

If/when my parents caught just 2 minutes of the Brits in the 70s there would have been complaints about ‘can’t understand’, worries about my moral fabric and despair at what the world was coming to.

Unfortunately, I felt the same but for terribly different reasons: I couldn’t understand why I could understand all the lyrics etc (although I did lose some stuff from Muse to be fair); I was not worried about my child’s moral fabric but about the morality of the music business – Thank God for Napster after all – I would not want my kids’ pocket money getting into the pockets of these weak, ‘in it for the money-stuff-the-music’, uncreative puppets; and I do despair at what the world is coming to, for music used to be for the young – it drove the social conscience and social change of impressionable teenagers to make the world fairer and the future worth looking forward to.
 My son is a musician and like all new, up-and-coming musicians he is worried about the effects of the fragmentation of the popular music scene – its diversity and ‘download’ culture is spelling the end of the era of the superstar. But there was no reflection of that at the Brits this year – pop drone, pop drone and more pop drone. Hopefully the kids are going underground and while they download pop drone for free, their pocket money is actually being spent on lemonade at live music gigs presented by musicians who would make me wonder at what the hell was going on – which is, in my opinion, as it should be!

Thank God for Napster and ‘BBC Introducing’ – Jack of the Suburbs “Magnolia” as played by Adam Walton on BBC Wales Introducing on Friday 23rd February 11.06 pm.

Me (to 5 year niece) : Your birthday is January 8th, isn’t it? That’s the same day as Elvis Presley. 

Niece: Who’s he ? 

Me: A really famous singer. 

Niece: As famous as Harry Styles ? 

This entry was first posted on  24 February 2013.