New Year Random Ruminations on Men and Women

Irony is funny. I spend much of my time enjoying life’s little ironies. Hypocrisy isn’t. I spend even more of my time trying to avoid it, failing and then being guilty of it. But I pride myself in recognising it and at least I try.

The problem with irony/hypocrisy is that there is a very fine line between them: and that line is often drawn by your point of view.

I am a feminist. This is frequently interpreted as a woman who does not like men because she wants to be one. I don’t want to be one but I still don’t ‘like’ them. They can do things I can’t, like leave a job in the middle simply because the hand on a clock ticks into a certain position. They can walk into a pub on their own, order a beer and no-one will expect ‘a date’ to turn up. They always have somewhere ‘to go’ – soon, and when they get married this often coincides with housework needing to be done. They find it easier to get better paid jobs and don’t need to pack tampons, their pill or bags of make-up, make-up remover, stilettos (just in case) or a hairdryer even on camping weekends. But, and here’s the fine line thing: I ‘like’ women even less.

Women get on my tits. Most of them are obsessed with men – either getting one or keeping  the one they’ve got – or wishing they had a different one. Or wishing the one they have was different. Women also obsess about women who don’t have one and don’t believe women who say they don’t want one. But they do exist.

In the past women were judged by their husbands. A woman’s social class and everything she owned, did or even said was dictated by who she was married to. Today society seems to be more open to the concept that women are independent units. But whilst society may have adopted a more flexible viewpoint, many women still seem to see themselves as some reflection of their ‘man’. Women married to rich, successful men see themselves as successful and attractive, despite the fact that just because a wealthy man may seem to have more choice, it does not necessarily follow he has any more taste. Most of the married women I know still see marriage as a superior state of being, regardless of the state of said marriage.

And so the question then begs itself: as a feminist is it simply ironic or am I being a hypocrite when I have to admit that most of the people I admire and actually like are men?

This entry was first posted on January 2 2013 


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